Advice Column

Flirt Zone's Advice Column

Welcome to our tantalizing advice column, where we dive headfirst into the rollercoaster world of love, dating, and relationships. Our team of seasoned love gurus is here to guide you through the maze of modern romance with wit, wisdom, and a pinch of sass.

No matter what stage you’re at on this wild love adventure, our experts are ready to be your sidekicks. From breaking the ice to hurdling those pesky relationship obstacles, or even knowing when to throw in the towel, we’ve got your back.

Here’s how it works:

  • Spill the tea: Each week, we invite you, our fabulous readers, to send us your juiciest questions by email. Slide into our inbox at [email protected]. Fear not, FlirtTribe; your secrets are safe with us. 
  • The love gurus get to work: Our team of relationship experts will sift through your questions, cherry-picking the most intriguing dilemmas to dissect in our weekly column. 
  • Get your fix: Keep your eyes peeled on our blog to see if your question made the cut. Even if your burning query isn’t in the spotlight, you’ll find a treasure trove of wisdom and advice from the ones we do tackle. Trust us, there’s always something to learn in the enchanting world of love and relationships!

Send your submission our way and we will guide you to finding true love. We’re all ears, and we can’t wait to hear from you!

Fictional characters are created for the privacy of our members

FLIRT ZONE

XOXO

Submission Inquiries 

Step inside, where love brews and relationship advice is served piping hot. We will unravel the secrets to finding and keeping your soulmate. 

When Friends Become Lovers

Hey Flirt Zone,

So, I’ve found myself in a pickle juicier than a rom-com plot twist. My best friend and I have been inseparable since the days of trading lunch snacks, and we’ve always had each other’s backs. But now, Cupid’s shot me in the backside because I’ve started catching feelings for my best friend, and I think they’re feeling the same vibes! It’s like we’re suddenly in a rom-com that I didn’t audition for.

I’m freaking out that if we dive into the dating pool, we might end up sinking the friendship boat we’ve built over the years. But if we don’t take the plunge, I might spend the rest of my life haunted by the “what if?” ghost. Help a confused soul out. Should I throw caution to the wind and risk it all, or stick to the friend zone and save myself from potential heartache?

Signed, Fearing the Leap

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Flirt Zone’s Response:

Dear Fearing the Leap,

Oh, the classic friends-to-lovers dilemma – it’s like something straight out of a Hollywood movie! But, let’s ditch the popcorn and get down to the nitty-gritty.

First of all, take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back for recognizing your feelings. That’s a big step in itself. Now, it’s time for some self-reflection. Do you genuinely see a future with your best friend? Or could it be a fleeting infatuation? If it’s the latter, I’d suggest keeping those feelings under wraps and staying in the friend zone.

However, if you truly believe there’s potential for an epic love story, it’s time to put on your big-kid pants and have an honest conversation with your best friend. Share your feelings, listen to theirs, and discuss the risks and rewards of taking your friendship to the next level.

Remember, life’s too short for “what ifs,” and great relationships often stem from solid friendships. But whatever you decide, make sure it’s a decision both of you can live with. After all, you don’t want to turn your real-life rom-com into a tragic drama.

Good luck, and may the force of love be with you!

Flirt Zone

Friend Zone or Flirting Zone?

How can I tell if my best friend is genuinely flirting with me or just being their usual friendly self?

Hey Flirt Zone,

I’m in a bit of a pickle, and I need your help to figure this out. You see, I’ve got this friend, let’s call him “Mr. Maybe,” who’s been sending me some seriously mixed signals. One day, he’s giving me a friendly fist bump like I’m one of the bros, and the next, he’s sending me flirty texts that make my heart do a double-take. What gives?

I can’t tell if Mr. Maybe is genuinely flirting with me or just being his usual goofy self. Are these “accidental” hand brushes and lingering hugs signs that he wants to leave the friend zone, or is he just a touchy-feely kind of guy? I don’t want to make a move and end up embarrassing myself, but I also don’t want to miss out on a potential love connection.

Help me decipher the code, Flirt Zone! Is it time to make a move and escape the friend zone, or should I just sit back and enjoy the ride on the friendship train? I’m counting on your expertise to help me figure out if I’m destined for the Flirting Zone or stuck in Friend Zone purgatory.

Signed Confused Bff,

Response: Striking a balance is essential...

Dear Confused Bff,

Oh, the ever-elusive mixed signals! Trust me, I’ve been there, and I know how confusing it can be. But fear not, I’ve got you covered with some bold, blunt, and possibly hilarious advice to help you navigate these murky waters.

First things first, you need to get a handle on Mr. Maybe’s intentions. Start by observing how he behaves with others. Is he touchy-feely with everyone, or are you the special recipient of those lingering hugs and “accidental” hand brushes? If he’s consistently flirtatious with others, he might just be a naturally friendly person. If not, there’s a chance he’s trying to send you some not-so-subtle signals.

Now, let’s talk strategy. It’s time for some good old fashioned flirting reconnaissance. Amp up your flirt game a little and see how Mr. Maybe responds. Toss in some playful banter, light teasing, or even a cheeky compliment. If he’s receptive and matches your energy, things are looking up for a potential love connection.

But if you’re still not sure where you stand, there’s always the bold and direct approach (my personal favorite). Casually bring up the topic of relationships and gauge his reaction. You could say something like, “You know, we get along so well, it’s surprising we’ve never dated.” If he’s into the idea, he’ll likely jump at the opportunity to explore the possibility of a romantic relationship.

Remember, the only way to know for sure is to communicate. It might be scary, but it’s better to take a chance and express your feelings than to sit back and wonder “What if.” So go ahead, gather your courage, and take the leap from the Friend Zone to the Flirting Zone. You’ve got this!

Sending you love, luck, and a touch of Cupid’s magic,

Love Flirt Zone 

 

Ghosted and Confused...

Dear Flirt Zone,

I’ve been dating this guy for about two months, and things seemed to be going great. We had tons in common, shared many laughs, and even started planning a weekend getaway together. But then, out of the blue, he just vanished like a magician’s assistant in a puff of smoke! No calls, no texts, nada. I’m ghosted and confused. What did I do wrong? How do I handle this disappearing act and move on with my life?

Sincerely,

Haunted by the Ghosted

Response: Ghost-free future

Hey there, Haunted by the Ghosted!

First off, take a deep breath, and let me tell you that you’re not alone. Ghosting is as common in the dating world as avocado toast at brunch. But don’t let Casper the not-so-friendly dater turn you into a full-time ghostbuster.

Now, I know it’s tempting to blame yourself and analyze every little detail of your past interactions, but trust me, doing the Nancy Drew on this case won’t help. Remember that people’s actions are a reflection of themselves, not you. It’s more likely that your Houdini had his own issues to deal with and chose the coward’s way out rather than facing them head-on.

As for moving on, I’ve got a few tips to help you exorcise those ghostly feelings:

  • Feel your feelings: It’s okay to be hurt, confused, or even angry. Let yourself feel those emotions, but don’t let them consume you like a pint of ice cream at midnight. It’s all part of the healing process.

  • Gather your support squad: Reach out to your friends and family. They’re your rock, your shoulder to cry on, and your personal cheerleading team. They’ll help you see the light at the end of the ghostly tunnel.

  • Practice self-care: Treat yourself like the queen (or king) you are. Indulge in your favorite hobbies, binge on that Netflix series you’ve been meaning to watch or take a luxurious bubble bath. Whatever makes you feel good, do it!

  • Remind yourself of your worth: You deserve someone who’s willing to stick around and communicate openly. This ghosting incident doesn’t define your value or your ability to find a great partner in the future.

  • Get back out there: When you’re ready, jump back into the dating pool. There’s a sea of potential soulmates out there, and you never know when the right one will swim your way!

Remember, dear Haunted, you’re a catch, and any guy who’s willing to ghost you wasn’t worth your time in the first place. So, let the ghost rest in peace and focus on finding someone who’s truly deserving of your awesomeness.

Wishing you a ghost-free future,

Flirt Zone

Divorce & Finding Love Again

Dear Flirt Zone,

I’m fresh out of a 15-year marriage, and now I’m facing the daunting task of re-entering the dating jungle. My confidence is in shambles, and I’m terrified of being eaten alive out there. How can I rebuild my self-esteem and avoid becoming a dating disaster?

Sincerely, Lost in Love’s Wilderness

 

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Flirt Zone’s Response:

Dear Lost in Love’s Wilderness,

Fear not, brave explorer! I’m here to be your trusty love guide, armed with advice to help you navigate this wild world and emerge triumphant in your quest for love.

  1. Become your own love guru: Before plunging into the dating rapids, focus on loving yourself. Rediscover your passions, indulge in some self-care, and remember: a confident, happy you is a love magnet!

  • Assemble your love squad: Rally friends and family to your side – they’ll be your emotional cheerleaders and offer priceless dating advice. Plus, they’ll be there to laugh with you about those cringe-worthy dating moments.
  • There’s no rush in the jungle: Don’t sprint into a new relationship just to prove you can outrun your past. Take your time, savor the scenery, and don’t stress about finding “the one” immediately. It’s a journey, not a race. 

  • Unpack your emotional baggage: It’s natural to lug around some emotional suitcases from your previous relationship but don’t let them weigh you down. Acknowledge your feelings, learn from them, and embrace the new possibilities ahead.

  • Explore new dating territories: The dating landscape is a whole new world since you last ventured out. Be open to trying new methods like online dating or speed dating events. Who knows? You might even have fun!

  • Honesty is the best policy: Be candid about your divorce and what you’re looking for in a partner. Honesty is attractive, and it’ll help you find a fellow adventurer who shares your values and goals.

  • Laugh like a hyena: Dating can be a rollercoaster of emotions, so it’s vital to embrace your inner hyena and laugh at the ups and downs. After all, laughter is the best medicine (and a great aphrodisiac).

By focusing on self-love, keeping a sense of humor, and embracing the adventure, you’ll emerge from the dating jungle with renewed confidence and a heart ready for love. Good luck, and may your post-divorce dating escapades be filled with laughter, growth, and, ultimately, a new partner to share the journey.

Yours playfully,

Flirt Zone

Digital Love

Creating a Winning Online Dating Profile to Attract Your Perfect Match

Dear Flirt Zone,

I’ve been trying my luck with online dating for a while now, but I’m not having much success in finding my perfect match. I’m beginning to think my profile might be the problem. Could you share some tips and tricks on how to create a winning online dating profile that will help me attract the right person? I’m ready to put myself out there and make a connection, but I need a little guidance on how to stand out in the digital dating world. Please help me become the Profile Perfectionist I know I can be!

Sincerely, Aspiring Profile Perfectionist

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Flirt Zone’s Response:

Dear Profile Perfectionist,

Ah, the art of crafting the perfect online dating profile. It’s like trying to create a personalized advertisement for yourself in the vast marketplace of love. Fear not, my digital devotee, I’m here to help you shine brighter than the North Star in this crowded cyber sky.

First, let’s start with your photos. You want to make sure your profile pic is the creme de la creme of your photo collection. That means no blurry shots or awkward angles. Remember, this is your chance to make a lasting impression. Show off your pearly whites, those mesmerizing eyes, and that killer style. Don’t forget to mix in some action shots, too – showcasing your hobbies and passions. Nobody wants to see a slideshow of bathroom selfies.

Next, let’s tackle your bio. This is where you get to showcase your wit, charm, and unique personality. Be genuine, but don’t be afraid to add a little humor. Just don’t overdo it with the jokes – you’re looking for love, not a spot at the local comedy club. Keep it concise and make sure you highlight the qualities that make you, well, YOU.

When it comes to describing your ideal match, be honest about what you’re looking for but avoid sounding like a picky grocery shopper with a mile-long list. Remember, you’re searching for a compatible partner, not a custom-made action figure.

Lastly, don’t forget to regularly update your profile. Keep your photos fresh and your bio current. A stagnant profile is about as appealing as last week’s leftovers.

Follow these steps, Profile Perfectionist, and you’ll be well on your way to attracting that perfect match in the digital realm of love. May Cupid’s arrow fly true in cyberspace!

Good luck, and may the force of love be with you!

Flirt Zone

Keeping the Flame Alive

 

Dear Flirt Zone,

After being with my partner for a decade, it feels like the spark we once had is slowly fading away. We love each other dearly, but it seems like the passion and romance have gone on vacation – a permanent one. Can you offer some advice on how to reignite the flame and bring some sizzle back to our long-term relationship? We’re eager to find ways to keep the love alive, but we’re not quite sure where to start. Help us get our groove back and keep the fire burning!

Sincerely, Craving for Fireworks

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Dear Craving for Fireworks,

Ah, the age-old challenge of keeping the spark alive in a long-term relationship. Fear not, you’re not alone, and I’ve got some tips to help you rekindle that fiery passion.

  1. Schedule date nights: You may be rolling your eyes at this classic advice, but there’s a reason it’s so popular. Set aside regular time to connect as a couple without distractions. Try new activities or revisit places where you shared special memories. Don’t forget to dress up, just like you would for a first date!

  • Communicate your desires: Open up about your fantasies and desires, both in and out of the bedroom. You may be surprised at what you both want to explore. Remember, no judgment – you’re partners in crime!

  • Show appreciation: It’s easy to take each other for granted. Make a point of expressing gratitude for the little things your partner does. A simple “thank you” or a heartfelt compliment can work wonders.

  • Be spontaneous: Surprise your partner with a romantic gesture – breakfast in bed, a candlelit bath, or a steamy text. It’s the unexpected moments that can reignite the passion in your relationship.

  • Revisit your love story: Talk about the early days of your relationship and what attracted you to each other. Sharing memories and laughing together can help you remember why you fell in love in the first place.

  • Cuddle more: Physical touch is essential for intimacy. Make time for cuddling, holding hands, or giving each other a massage. These simple acts of affection can help rekindle your connection.

Remember, rekindling passion takes time, effort, and open communication. Keep trying different strategies until you find what works best for you and your partner. Good luck, and may the sparks fly once again!

Sending you love and a touch of Cupid’s magic,

Flirt Zone

Lost and Discouraged

Dear Flirt Zone,

I’m a 39-year-old woman who always dreamt of being married by this age. But here I am, feeling lonely and defeated, ready to throw in the towel on love. It seems like I’ve missed my chance, and I’m starting to lose hope. Is it too late for me to find love and have the life I’ve always wanted? Should I give up on my dreams and settle for a life of solitude? I’m feeling lost and discouraged. Help!

Sincerely,

Lost and Discouraged

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Hey there, slow down and don’t you dare give up on love just yet! First things first, take a deep breath, and let’s put things into perspective. Age is just a number, and your dreams of finding love and building a fulfilling life are still very much within reach. So let’s debunk those limiting beliefs and ignite that spark of hope within you.

Listen, the timeline society puts on us is nothing more than a societal construct. Love doesn’t have an expiration date. It’s not like there’s a clearance sale on Soulmates, and you missed the deadline. The universe works in mysterious ways, and sometimes it takes a bit longer to find that special someone who’s truly worth the wait.

Now, here’s the deal: instead of fixating on that arbitrary number, embrace your experiences and wisdom. At 39, you’ve accumulated a treasure trove of life lessons and self-discovery. You know who you are, what you want, and what you won’t settle for. That’s an incredible advantage!

So, let’s kick those doubts to the curb and get back in the game with renewed vigor. Here’s what you need to do:

1. Embrace your fabulous self: Confidence is key, my friend! Embrace your uniqueness, quirks, and all the wonderful qualities that make you who you are. Rock your confidence like a boss, because nothing is more attractive than someone who loves themselves.

2. Expand your horizons: Don’t limit yourself to your usual circles or routines. Get out there and explore new opportunities to meet people. Attend social events, join interest groups, or try out online dating platforms that cater to your specific preferences.

3. Focus on quality, not quantity: It’s not about finding just anyone; it’s about finding the right someone. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Keep your standards high, but also be open-minded and willing to give people a chance. You never know who might surprise you.

4. Stay open to unexpected connections: Love often shows up when we least expect it. So, be open to unexpected connections. Strike up conversations, make new friends, and let serendipity work its magic. You never know when that special someone might cross your path.

5. Prioritize self-care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Nurture your well-being, indulge in self-care activities, and pursue your passions. When you prioritize self-love, you radiate positive energy that naturally attracts others.

Remember, love has a funny way of finding us when we least expect it. So don’t let age define your journey. Keep your heart open, believe in the magic of love, and trust that the universe has something incredible in store for you. Your perfect love story is still waiting to be written, and you’re the leading lady.

Stay hopeful, keep smiling, and get ready to embrace a future filled with love and joy. You’ve got this!

Sending you love, luck, and a touch of Cupid’s magic,

Flirt Zone

Queen of the Boardroom

Dear Flirt zone,

I’m a 32-year-old powerhouse woman who’s been climbing the corporate ladder like there’s no tomorrow. While I’m proud of my achievements, I can’t help but wonder if I’m missing out on something more: a family of my own. The thought of one day regretting my choices keeps me up at night. How do I strike a balance between being a boss and having a family?

Yours truly,

Queen of the Boardroom, Longing for a Throne at Home

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Balancing Ambition and Love

Hey there, Queen of the Boardroom!

First of all, let’s raise a toast to your kickass career success! But now, let’s get down to business and tackle that nagging worry of yours.

Here’s the juicy truth: You CAN have the whole shebang – a rockstar career and a loving family. It just takes a dash of strategic planning, a pinch of self-awareness, and a sprinkling of adaptability. So, fasten your seatbelt, because I’m about to dish out some top-notch advice to help you navigate this tantalizing tightrope.

  • Play the priority game: Grab a cup of coffee, put your feet up, and take a moment to ruminate on your life goals. What makes your heart sing? If a family is on your must-have list, give it the love and attention it deserves. You’re the Queen, after all – it’s your kingdom, your rules.

  • Draw a master plan: Sketch out a rough timeline for when you envision starting a family. Having a blueprint can help quell some of the jitters. But remember, life is a rollercoaster, so be prepared for a few surprise twists and turns.

  • Build your dream team: Juggling work and family life calls for a rock-solid support crew. Surround yourself with a cast of reliable friends, family, and potential partners who share your vision and can help you conquer any obstacles.

  • Unlock your heart: Don’t let your boss-lady persona hinder your search for romance. Stay open to love and embrace the fact that vulnerability is actually a superpower.

  • Learn to dance in the rain: Embrace the fact that life is a beautifully unpredictable journey. Stay nimble and be prepared to pivot as you chase your career and family dreams.

So, Your Majesty, it’s time to take the reins and carve out the life you truly desire. Remember, you’ve already conquered the boardroom – now it’s time to build a realm that encompasses ALL your dreams. Go forth and conquer!

Sending you love, luck, and a touch of Cupid’s magic,

Love,

Flirt Zone 

Ms. High Standards

Should I lower my standards to find love?

Dear Flirt Zone,

I’m a 36 year old woman who is having a hard time finding a man to date or start a relationship with. I have high standards, and I know what I want in a partner, but it seems like I can never find someone who meets all my criteria. I have a successful career, I’m confident, and I take care of myself. However, my friends tell me that my expectations are unrealistic and that I should lower my standards to find love. What should I do?

Sincerely, Ms. High Standards, Lonely Heart

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Response: Striking a balance is essential…

Dear High Standards,

It’s great that you have a clear idea of what you want in a partner and are unwilling to settle for less. However, it’s essential to strike a balance between having high standards and being open to potential partners who may not tick every box on your list.

First, take a moment to reflect on your non-negotiable criteria and see if there’s room for flexibility. Are there any qualities or traits that you could compromise on without sacrificing your core values and desires in a partner? Remember, nobody is perfect, and sometimes it’s the unexpected traits in a partner that make a relationship even more enriching.

Next, consider expanding your social circle and trying out new activities or hobbies where you can meet new people. This will not only increase your chances of finding a compatible partner but also help you grow as an individual.

Finally, don’t be too hard on yourself or potential partners. Give yourself and others the chance to learn and grow together. Embrace the dating journey and be open to experiencing different types of relationships. Sometimes the most meaningful connections come from the most unexpected places.

Stay true to yourself, but remain open to the possibility of love in all its forms.

Wishing you the best in your search for love, Flirt Zone 

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